Years ago, in a past lifetime, I was working as a journalist for a small rural newspaper. One day I get a request to cover the wedding of the son of a prominent local business owner. Mother of the Groom (MoG) was also a big advertiser in our paper so I was tasked to get a pic for the social page as a gesture of good will to her.
So I contact MoG for details of the nuptials. That's when I get told the Bride has decided that she doesn't want to take a horse-drawn carriage to the church (so old fashioned), she wants to RIDE THE HORSE DOWN THE MAIN STREET. Good idea but she never factored in the physical difficulty of straddling (as in leg on either side of the horse), while wearing a wedding dress and still looking elegant. Forget the strappy stiletto heels for a moment.
Fortunately MoG had used her considerable local connections and managed to find a local farmer with a couple of quiet and presentable nags to loan for the day. I say a couple because there were two of them, two because Mother of the Bride (MoB) has decided that making a grand entrance from the back of a horse is a great idea and she wants a piece of the action - I mean, she wants to share in her daughter's special day!
So we assemble in the carpark at one end of town, at the opposite end of the main street from the church. The Bridesmaids/Best Man/Grooms are all to travel up the street in a fleet of vintage cars followed by the horses.
It was while we were assembled in the carpark that they discovered a rather big hitch in this grand wedding plan. MoB's decision to ride with her daughter was rather last-minute and she had neglected to find out if her own wedding attire was suitable to riding a horse....remember they're not riding side-saddle?!
MoB has chosen a lovely mauve suit with a jacket, white blouse and skirt....a short (knee length) tight skirt...see my problem? She couldn't get on the horse very elegantly with such a tight skirt, let alone straddle it.
In the end MoB had to roll that skirt practically up to her groin in order to sit comfortable....roll it up all the way round, not just tuck the back part under her bum and roll a bit of the front in order to free her knees!!
So mother and daughter had to ride all the way along the main street, about 2km, with mum practically using her skirt as a pink belt, showing the world her knobbly knees, veiny thighs and cellulite. The bride's wedding dress was bunched up in a rather odd fashion (again forgot to check the physics of riding a horse when designing her outfit).
That was probably the most bizarre wedding I ever had to photograph; the poor official photographer and I had to work REALLY hard to get some "decent" photos of that event! Pity the bride, you don't want to censor you wedding photos to hide what color knickers your MUM was wearing!
No comments:
Post a Comment